Closer Than · a reflection tool for two

Attachment styles: the template for closeness you bring into a relationship

Attachment research — beginning with Bowlby and Ainsworth and extended to adult relationships by researchers like Hazan and Shaver — suggests that early bonding experiences shape a working template for closeness: how comfortable you are depending on someone, how you respond when connection feels threatened, and what you do when a partner reaches for you.

The styles, briefly and honestly

Secure — comfortable with closeness and with space; conflict feels solvable.
Anxious (preoccupied) — closeness feels urgent; distance reads as danger, and reassurance-seeking can intensify under stress.
Avoidant (dismissing) — self-reliance feels safest; intensity of need (yours or theirs) triggers distance.
Mixed / fearful patterns — wanting closeness and fearing it at once.

Two caveats the internet often skips: styles are tendencies, not diagnoses, and they aren't fixed — research suggests they shift with safe, consistent experience. The interesting question in a couple isn't "what's my label?" but "how do our two templates interact when one of us is stressed?"

Reading yours in context

Where We Stand includes a brief attachment self-report as part of a wider five-minute reflection — alongside what you call the relationship, what you've built, and how closeness, passion, and commitment are trending. In partner mode it shows how your two styles meet. It's a self-report read, not a clinical assessment, and it says so plainly. All scoring runs in your browser; raw answers are never stored server-side.

Take the reflection — free to start

Where We Stand, by Closer Than, is a research-based reflection, not therapy, diagnosis, or a verdict. It draws on the published work of Robert Sternberg, John and Julie Gottman, Caryl Rusbult, and attachment researchers; it is independent and not affiliated with, or endorsed by, these researchers or their organisations. © Closer Than · closerthan.app